Practise responding to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend — challenging the self-critical voice with compassion.
When something goes wrong, notice the self-critical voice and then deliberately generate a compassionate response. What would you say to a close friend in the same situation? This isn't about lowering standards — it's about responding to difficulty without adding unnecessary self-punishment.
Use when self-criticism is maintaining the client's depression and they would benefit from developing a more compassionate relationship with themselves. Draws on Gilbert's compassion-focused therapy principles integrated within a CBT framework. Suitable mid-treatment once the client has some awareness of their self-critical patterns.
Frame compassion as a skill: 'Being kind to yourself isn't something that comes naturally to everyone, especially when you're depressed. Like any skill, it can be practised and developed. This worksheet will help us start building that capacity, step by step.'
For clients who resist self-compassion as weakness, explore their beliefs about compassion and use Socratic questioning to examine the evidence. For those with trauma histories, go slowly as compassion can sometimes trigger the grief system. Use third-person perspective initially if first-person feels too confronting.
Approach with caution if the client has significant attachment trauma, as self-compassion work can activate the attachment system and trigger distress. Not appropriate during acute crisis. Avoid if the client is using compassion exercises to avoid necessary behavioural change.
Self-compassion work often meets resistance initially; this is expected and clinically informative. The resistance itself can be explored as data about the client's relationship with themselves. Pair with behavioural experiments testing predictions about what happens when they are kinder to themselves. Monitor whether compassion practice translates into reduced self-critical behaviour between sessions.
Suitable for clients working with self-compassion, low self-esteem, cbt, self-criticism, gilbert, compassionate mind. This tool can be used as a standalone worksheet or as part of a structured homework plan.
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