Exploring change at your pace
Find out how a collaborative conversation can help you explore mixed feelings, your own priorities and possible next steps without pressure to decide.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Exploring change at your pace
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A conversation with room for your view
Motivational interviewing (MI), developed by William Miller and Stephen Rollnick, is a way of talking together about possible change. You bring knowledge of your life. Your therapist brings listening and clinical knowledge. The aim is to understand your own direction, not to get you to accept somebody else's preferred goal. These pages support a collaborative conversation. Completing them is optional, and taking part does not commit you to change.
What you can expect
The approach values partnership, acceptance, compassion and drawing out what matters to you. Your therapist should respect your choices and strengths and take your wellbeing seriously. If another person or service expects a change, that pressure should be named openly. You can ask which decisions are yours and whether there are limits imposed by a service or by safety responsibilities.
Finding a useful focus together
You may first spend time building understanding, then agree what to talk about. You can explore your own reasons, hopes, concerns and abilities. Planning is an option when it fits what you want, not an automatic next stage. These conversations can move back and forth. Listening skills sometimes called OARS involve open questions, recognising strengths, reflecting what you mean and summarising. They are ways to understand, not a test for you to pass.
Mixed feelings are allowed
Change talk means your own words in favour of change. Reasons to keep things as they are matter too; you do not owe anyone a set number of positive statements. If the conversation feels like an argument, that is a reason to review how you are working together. Low importance or confidence can tell you something useful about your priorities, circumstances or support. Neither is a score to improve.
Information and next steps
Your therapist can ask what you already know, offer information and explore what it means to you. If they are giving clinical advice, they should say so clearly, so you can weigh it against what matters to you. Urgent safety advice and safeguarding cannot wait for a decision about change. If a change involves alcohol, drugs or prescribed medication, talk to your GP, prescriber or drug and alcohol service before stopping, cutting down or going back to how you used before. Fictional illustration: someone wants more time with a friend but also needs quiet evenings. They choose to think about the trade-off, without making a plan today.
Questions and support
This worksheet is for feelings you can manage. If you have urges to hurt yourself, or you feel unsafe, use your safety plan if you have one and tell your therapist. If you might act on the urges, call 999 or go to A&E. To talk to someone now, call Samaritans free on 116 123.
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When to use ‘Exploring change at your pace’
‘Exploring change at your pace’ is a psychoeducation handout based on motivational interviewing (MI). Consider this resource when a client feels ambivalent about change and wants space to explore their own reasons, the importance of change and their confidence in it.
It is designed to be read within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it and discusses it with the client. You can preview the full handout above, then assign it for clients to read between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF. Where a short reflection is included, it offers space to respond to the reading.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 10 minutes. It moves through six short sections to read:
- A conversation with room for your view: Motivational interviewing (MI), developed by William Miller and Stephen Rollnick, is a way of talking together about possible change. You…
- What you can expect: The approach values partnership, acceptance, compassion and drawing out what matters to you. Your therapist should respect your choices and…
- Finding a useful focus together: You may first spend time building understanding, then agree what to talk about. You can explore your own reasons, hopes, concerns and…
- Mixed feelings are allowed: Change talk means your own words in favour of change. Reasons to keep things as they are matter too; you do not owe anyone a set number of…
- Information and next steps: Your therapist can ask what you already know, offer information and explore what it means to you. If they are giving clinical advice, they…
- Questions and support: This worksheet is for feelings you can manage. If you have urges to hurt yourself, or you feel unsafe, use your safety plan if you have one…
The handout can be read on a phone, tablet or computer, or downloaded as a print-ready PDF. If it includes a reflection, answers entered on the Formulate platform are saved automatically and shared back with the therapist for review before the next session.
The MI approach behind it
‘Exploring change at your pace’ draws on motivational interviewing (MI). MI is a collaborative conversation about ambivalence, including reasons to change and reasons to keep things as they are. The therapist listens for the client’s own reasons and respects their choice about what happens next. Exploring importance and confidence can distinguish wanting change from feeling able to attempt it, without turning the conversation into persuasion.
It is intended as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis. The therapist can help decide how it fits the work and discuss what emerges.
Evidence & sources
This handout draws on motivational interviewing. Key sources include:
- Miller, W. R., & Rollnick, S. (2013). Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change. Guilford Press.
- Rollnick, S., Miller, W. R., & Butler, C. C. (2008). Motivational Interviewing in Health Care: Helping Patients Change Behavior. Guilford Press.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
- Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day
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