Questioning messages about who I should be
Look at one message about who you should be: where it came from, who it helps, what it does in your life now, and which parts you want to keep, question or set aside.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Questioning messages about who I should be
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One message, looked at in context
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When to use ‘Questioning messages about who I should be’
‘Questioning messages about who I should be’ is an interactive narrative therapy worksheet. Consider this resource when a problem has come to dominate how a client describes themselves, and they want to explore other meanings, experiences or preferred stories.
It is designed to be used within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it, works through it collaboratively, and helps make sense of what it surfaces. You can preview the full worksheet above, then assign it digitally for clients to complete between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 15 minutes. It centres on one focused exercise:
- One message, looked at in context
Completed on the Formulate platform, your client's answers are saved automatically and shared straight back to you, so you can review them before the next session rather than waiting for a paper copy to come back.
The narrative therapy approach behind it
‘Questioning messages about who I should be’ draws on narrative therapy. Narrative therapy separates the person from the problem, inviting curiosity about how a difficulty affects their life without defining who they are. Conversations explore experiences that do not fit the problem’s dominant story. The client’s own language, values and relationships inform preferred stories about their life and the directions they wish to take.
It is intended as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis. The therapist can help decide how it fits the work and discuss what emerges.
Evidence & sources
This worksheet draws on narrative therapy. Key sources include:
- White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. W. W. Norton & Company.
- Freedman, J., & Combs, G. (1996). Narrative Therapy: The Social Construction of Preferred Realities. W. W. Norton & Company.
- White, M. (1991). Deconstruction and therapy. Dulwich Centre Newsletter, 3, 21-40.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
- Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day
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