Separating the person from the problem
A narrative therapy worksheet inviting the client to name a problem in their own words and explore its influence, tactics and limits. Externalising prompts make room for preferred ways of living without assigning an identity or diagnosis.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Separating the person from the problem
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Choose words that fit you
The name can be ordinary, playful or serious. It should make sense to you, rather than sound like a label someone else has given you.
Explore its influence
Look at how the problem affects life without assuming it affects everything.
Notice your responses
Standing up to a problem can be quiet or small. You do not have to defeat it. If no example comes to mind, you can leave this for another time.
Decide what you want to carry forward
Separating yourself from a problem does not remove responsibility for actions or make real harm less important.
Try it here — nothing you type is saved. Sign up to assign it and let clients complete it on any device.
When to use ‘Separating the person from the problem’
‘Separating the person from the problem’ is an interactive narrative therapy worksheet. Consider this resource when a problem has come to dominate how a client describes themselves, and they want to explore other meanings, experiences or preferred stories.
It is designed to be used within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it, works through it collaboratively, and helps make sense of what it surfaces. You can preview the full worksheet above, then assign it digitally for clients to complete between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 20 minutes. It moves through four short steps:
- Choose words that fit you: The name can be ordinary, playful or serious. It should make sense to you, rather than sound like a label someone else has given you.
- Explore its influence: Look at how the problem affects life without assuming it affects everything.
- Notice your responses: Standing up to a problem can be quiet or small. You do not have to defeat it. If no example comes to mind, you can leave this for another…
- Decide what you want to carry forward: Separating yourself from a problem does not remove responsibility for actions or make real harm less important.
Completed on the Formulate platform, your client's answers are saved automatically and shared straight back to you, so you can review them before the next session rather than waiting for a paper copy to come back.
The narrative therapy approach behind it
‘Separating the person from the problem’ draws on narrative therapy. Narrative therapy separates the person from the problem, inviting curiosity about how a difficulty affects their life without defining who they are. Conversations explore experiences that do not fit the problem’s dominant story. The client’s own language, values and relationships inform preferred stories about their life and the directions they wish to take.
It is intended as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis. The therapist can help decide how it fits the work and discuss what emerges.
Evidence & sources
This worksheet draws on narrative therapy. Key sources include:
- White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. W. W. Norton & Company.
- White, M. (2007). Maps of Narrative Practice. New York: W. W. Norton.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
- Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day
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