Understanding ACT: choosing what matters
Learn how making room for difficult experiences can help you choose actions that matter to you, with support and at your pace.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Understanding ACT: choosing what matters
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More choice in how you live
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), developed by Steven Hayes, Kirk Strosahl and Kelly Wilson, explores how you relate to thoughts and feelings while doing what matters to you. It calls this psychological flexibility: noticing what is happening and choosing a response that fits your situation and values. The aim is not to eliminate difficult feelings. Continuing distress does not mean you have failed at acceptance. This handout supports trained practice and does not replace it.
Making room and noticing thoughts
Acceptance means allowing some room for an unwanted feeling when this helps you take a chosen step. It is not resignation, approval of harm or tolerating abuse. Defusion means noticing a thought as a thought, so it does not have to decide your next action. It is not proving the thought false or making it disappear. Practical problem-solving, medical care and protection still matter.
Attention and perspective
Present-moment contact means bringing attention to what is happening here, including the world around you. Self-as-context means noticing that thoughts, feelings and roles change, and that you can notice them without being defined by any one of them. This is a way of taking perspective, not a claim that you have a separate or hidden true self. You can use ordinary words and concrete examples with your therapist.
Values and action
Values are qualities you choose to bring to what you do, such as being fair or caring. They can include family, community and cultural commitments. A goal can be finished; a value can guide many actions. Committed action means taking and adjusting steps in that direction. Rest, setting a boundary or asking for help can count. Disability, money, discrimination and caring demands affect what is possible. These are not failures of willingness.
How the parts work together
These six processes support each other; they are not six tests or a fixed order. Fictional illustration: someone values being a supportive friend but waits to feel confident before replying. They notice the thought that they will say the wrong thing, allow some anxiety and send a brief reply. Anxiety remains. The chosen action, rather than becoming calm, is what they review. This does not show that every situation is safe or every step will go well.
Your choice and support
Agree any practice with your therapist. Acceptance never means ignoring medical needs or taking unnecessary risks. If looking inward leaves you overwhelmed, disoriented or feeling unreal, stop, look around and name where you are. Contact your therapist through the agreed route before trying again. For urgent help when they are unavailable, use your agreed urgent-care contact; call 999 for immediate danger.
Your reflection
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When to use ‘Understanding ACT: choosing what matters’
‘Understanding ACT: choosing what matters’ is a psychoeducation handout based on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Consider this resource when a client is caught up in difficult thoughts or feelings and wants to explore actions that fit what matters to them.
It is designed to be read within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it and discusses it with the client. You can preview the full handout above, then assign it for clients to read between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF. Where a short reflection is included, it offers space to respond to the reading.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 10 minutes. It moves through six short sections to read:
- More choice in how you live: Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), developed by Steven Hayes, Kirk Strosahl and Kelly Wilson, explores how you relate to thoughts and…
- Making room and noticing thoughts: Acceptance means allowing some room for an unwanted feeling when this helps you take a chosen step. It is not resignation, approval of harm…
- Attention and perspective: Present-moment contact means bringing attention to what is happening here, including the world around you. Self-as-context means noticing…
- Values and action: Values are qualities you choose to bring to what you do, such as being fair or caring. They can include family, community and cultural…
- How the parts work together: These six processes support each other; they are not six tests or a fixed order. Fictional illustration: someone values being a supportive…
- Your choice and support: Agree any practice with your therapist. Acceptance never means ignoring medical needs or taking unnecessary risks. If looking inward leaves…
The handout can be read on a phone, tablet or computer, or downloaded as a print-ready PDF. If it includes a reflection, answers entered on the Formulate platform are saved automatically and shared back with the therapist for review before the next session.
The ACT approach behind it
‘Understanding ACT: choosing what matters’ draws on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). ACT centres on psychological flexibility: making room for experience while choosing actions guided by values. Acceptance involves willingness to experience thoughts and feelings; defusion means noticing thoughts as thoughts. Attention to the present moment and committed action connect these ideas with choices in daily life.
It is intended as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis. The therapist can help decide how it fits the work and discuss what emerges.
Evidence & sources
This handout draws on acceptance and commitment therapy. Key sources include:
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change. Guilford Press.
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An Experiential Approach to Behavior Change. Guilford Press.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
- Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day
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