Understanding CFT: wisdom, courage and care
Explore how understanding suffering and learned ways of protecting yourself can support wise, caring action towards yourself and others.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Understanding CFT: wisdom, courage and care
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Understanding protection and suffering
Compassion-focused therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, explores how our minds and bodies respond to difficulty. Some protective reactions happen quickly, shaped by human development and what we have learnt in relationships and life. You did not choose all these influences. Understanding them can reduce blame while helping you choose what to do now. This handout supports trained practice and does not replace it.
Three kinds of response
CFT describes threat and protection, drive and seeking resources, and soothing, contentment and connection. Threat responses help us respond to danger. Drive helps us seek things we need or want. Soothing and connection can support rest and a sense of safety. These are useful ideas for understanding experience, not three separate brain parts or a diagnostic test. All have a place. The aim is a helpful response to the situation, not equal amounts of each or getting rid of threat.
Compassion involves understanding and action
Compassion means noticing suffering and being motivated to respond helpfully. Wisdom considers what is happening and what is likely to help; courage supports facing difficulty; care guides the purpose. A caring response can be firm: protection, saying no, asking for support or repairing harm. Comfort and reassurance can be part of care. Compassion does not promise that nothing bad will happen or require you to avoid every difficult feeling. Taking responsibility can be compassionate without self-punishment.
Care can move in three directions
You can offer compassion to someone else, receive it from someone else, or direct it towards yourself. Each can feel different. Giving does not mean self-sacrifice or ignoring your needs. Receiving does not mean trusting unsafe people, owing them something or sharing more than you choose. Self-directed care can be a practical act without a warm feeling. You do not need to practise all three at once.
When care is difficult
Kindness can bring up grief, shame or distrust, especially when care has been absent, conditional or harmful. You may fear what will happen, face a practical obstacle, or not want an approach that seems unhelpful. These are reasons to understand together, not faults. Fictional illustration: someone who fears owing others accepts a colleague's offer of help with one task, after checking its limits. They remain uneasy but receive practical help. They choose not to accept other offers.
Choosing what fits
There is no need to force warmth, imagery or breathing exercises. Start with a conversation or a small practical choice if you wish. If you feel overwhelmed, far away or unreal, stop, look around and name where you are. Contact your therapist through the agreed route before trying again. If you need urgent help while they are unavailable, use your agreed urgent-care contact; call 999 for immediate danger.
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When to use ‘Understanding CFT: wisdom, courage and care’
‘Understanding CFT: wisdom, courage and care’ is a psychoeducation handout based on compassion-focused therapy (CFT). Consider this resource when shame or self-criticism is prominent, or when exploring how a client relates to distress and what a more compassionate response could involve.
It is designed to be read within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it and discusses it with the client. You can preview the full handout above, then assign it for clients to read between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF. Where a short reflection is included, it offers space to respond to the reading.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 10 minutes. It moves through six short sections to read:
- Understanding protection and suffering: Compassion-focused therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, explores how our minds and bodies respond to difficulty. Some protective…
- Three kinds of response: CFT describes threat and protection, drive and seeking resources, and soothing, contentment and connection. Threat responses help us…
- Compassion involves understanding and action: Compassion means noticing suffering and being motivated to respond helpfully. Wisdom considers what is happening and what is likely to…
- Care can move in three directions: You can offer compassion to someone else, receive it from someone else, or direct it towards yourself. Each can feel different. Giving does…
- When care is difficult: Kindness can bring up grief, shame or distrust, especially when care has been absent, conditional or harmful. You may fear what will…
- Choosing what fits: There is no need to force warmth, imagery or breathing exercises. Start with a conversation or a small practical choice if you wish. If you…
The handout can be read on a phone, tablet or computer, or downloaded as a print-ready PDF. If it includes a reflection, answers entered on the Formulate platform are saved automatically and shared back with the therapist for review before the next session.
The CFT approach behind it
‘Understanding CFT: wisdom, courage and care’ draws on compassion-focused therapy (CFT). CFT draws on a model of threat, drive and soothing systems to explore how clients respond to danger, pursue goals and experience safety or connection. Shame and self-criticism can be understood within these patterns. Building compassion involves noticing suffering and considering a caring, helpful response, including when kindness towards oneself feels unfamiliar or difficult.
It is intended as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis. The therapist can help decide how it fits the work and discuss what emerges.
Evidence & sources
This handout draws on compassion-focused therapy. Key sources include:
- Gilbert, P. (2010). Compassion Focused Therapy: Distinctive Features. Routledge.
- Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
- Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day
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