The Circle of Control
A simple way to sort your worries into what you can control, what you can only influence, and what is out of your hands - so you can spend your energy where it actually counts instead of burning it on things you cannot change.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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The Circle of Control
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Why control matters for worry
A lot of worry comes from trying to control things that simply are not ours to control. It is like gripping the steering wheel of a car you are not even driving - exhausting, and it changes nothing. The Circle of Control is a way to sort your worries into three rings, so you can see clearly what is yours to act on and what you may need to let go of. Worry tends to gather in the outer rings, where we have the least power.
The inner ring: things I CAN control
At the centre are the things that are genuinely yours: your own actions and effort, how you respond to what happens, the choices you make, how you treat people, the boundaries you set, what you say yes and no to, and what you do with your time today. You will never control all of these perfectly, but they are within your reach. This is where your energy works hardest.
The middle ring: things I can INFLUENCE
The next ring out holds things you can affect but not fully decide. You can influence how a conversation goes, but not how the other person reacts. You can prepare well for a job interview, but not whether you get the job. You can support someone, but not make their choices for them. Here, the useful move is to do your part well and then loosen your grip on the result.
The outer ring: things OUTSIDE my control
The outermost ring holds everything that is not yours to control at all: other people's thoughts, feelings and choices; the past and what has already happened; the future and how things will turn out; the weather; the economy; other people's opinions of you. Worrying about these feels productive, but it only drains you. The skill here is acceptance - not liking it, just stopping the fight against what you cannot change.
Sort your worries into the rings
List the things on your mind right now, and for each one decide which ring it mostly belongs in. Some worries split across rings - that is fine, put it where most of it sits. Notice how many of your worries land in the outer rings.
| # | Worry or demand | Which ring? | What I can do | Actions |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |
Choose where to put your energy
Now look back at the worries you placed in the inner ring - the things you can actually control. Pick one to focus on. Taking a small, real action on something within your control is one of the quickest ways to feel steadier when your mind is full of things you cannot change.
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When to use The Circle of Control
The Circle of Control is an interactive cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) worksheet. As a core CBT skill it is used right across the model, with presentations including depression, anxiety, OCD, trauma and low self-esteem, rather than being tied to a single diagnosis.
It is designed to be used within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it, works through it collaboratively, and helps make sense of what it surfaces. You can preview the full worksheet above, then assign it digitally for clients to complete between sessions on any device — or download it as a print-ready PDF.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 10 minutes. It moves through six short steps:
- Why control matters for worry — A lot of worry comes from trying to control things that simply are not ours to control. It is like gripping the steering wheel of a car you…
- The inner ring: things I CAN control — At the centre are the things that are genuinely yours: your own actions and effort, how you respond to what happens, the choices you make,…
- The middle ring: things I can INFLUENCE — The next ring out holds things you can affect but not fully decide. You can influence how a conversation goes, but not how the other person…
- The outer ring: things OUTSIDE my control — The outermost ring holds everything that is not yours to control at all: other people's thoughts, feelings and choices; the past and what…
- Sort your worries into the rings — List the things on your mind right now, and for each one decide which ring it mostly belongs in. Some worries split across rings - that is…
- Choose where to put your energy — Now look back at the worries you placed in the inner ring - the things you can actually control. Pick one to focus on. Taking a small, real…
Completed on the Formulate platform, your client's answers are saved automatically and shared straight back to you, so you can review them before the next session rather than waiting for a paper copy to come back.
The CBT approach behind it
In common with other CBT methods, The Circle of Control works by noticing the links between situations, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behaviour — and finding practical ways to change unhelpful patterns. The aim is not positive thinking but a clearer, shared understanding of what keeps a difficulty going — and practical, testable ways to change it.
Because it is a CBT tool it stays focused on the here-and-now links between thoughts, feelings, the body and behaviour, and it works best as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis.
Evidence & sources
This worksheet is grounded in established cognitive behavioural therapy theory and practice. Key sources include:
- Covey, S.R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster.
- Hayes, S.C., Strosahl, K.D., & Wilson, K.G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New York: Guilford Press.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- SANEline: 0800 689 5555 — 4:30pm–10:30pm, every day
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