Giving, receiving and offering yourself compassion
Explore three directions of compassion separately, including what each could offer, what gets in the way and the boundaries you need.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Giving, receiving and offering yourself compassion
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Three directions, different needs
For each, note a possible benefit, a barrier and a limit. You do not need equal amounts of each.
Choose one direction for now
Compassion can be firm and practical. It need not remove discomfort.
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When to use ‘Giving, receiving and offering yourself compassion’
‘Giving, receiving and offering yourself compassion’ is an interactive compassion-focused therapy (CFT) worksheet, for work with low self-esteem. Consider this resource when shame or self-criticism is prominent, or when exploring how a client relates to distress and what a more compassionate response could involve.
It is designed to be used within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it, works through it collaboratively, and helps make sense of what it surfaces. You can preview the full worksheet above, then assign it digitally for clients to complete between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 15 minutes. It moves through two short steps:
- Three directions, different needs: For each, note a possible benefit, a barrier and a limit. You do not need equal amounts of each.
- Choose one direction for now: Compassion can be firm and practical. It need not remove discomfort.
Completed on the Formulate platform, your client's answers are saved automatically and shared straight back to you, so you can review them before the next session rather than waiting for a paper copy to come back.
The CFT approach behind it
‘Giving, receiving and offering yourself compassion’ draws on compassion-focused therapy (CFT). CFT draws on a model of threat, drive and soothing systems to explore how clients respond to danger, pursue goals and experience safety or connection. Shame and self-criticism can be understood within these patterns. Building compassion involves noticing suffering and considering a caring, helpful response, including when kindness towards oneself feels unfamiliar or difficult.
It is intended as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis. The therapist can help decide how it fits the work and discuss what emerges.
Evidence & sources
This worksheet draws on compassion-focused therapy. Key sources include:
- Gilbert, P. (2010). Compassion Focused Therapy: Distinctive Features. Routledge.
- Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
- Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day
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