Working with your inner critic
Step back from a harsh inner critic, understand what it is trying to do, settle your body with slow breathing, and answer it from a warm, wise and strong compassionate self.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Working with your inner critic
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Your inner critic
Based on Gilbert (2009, 2010): compassion focused therapy.
Many of us carry a harsh inner voice. It often feels true, but it is not the whole story.
If the harsh things you write about yourself here turn into thoughts of hurting yourself, use your safety plan if you have one, and tell your therapist or care team. If you feel unsafe right now, call 999 or go to A&E. To talk to someone now, call Samaritans free on 116 123.
Step back from it
It can help to see the critic as a separate voice, a habit your mind has learned, rather than the truth about you.
What is it trying to do?
Self-criticism is often a clumsy attempt to protect us or push us to do well. It has just gone about it harshly and stopped helping.
Soothing rhythm breathing
Before you answer the critic, settle your body. Breathe a touch more slowly and deeply than usual, with a gentle, even rhythm, and let your body slow down with it. Thirty to sixty seconds is enough. Stop if it feels uncomfortable.
Your compassionate self
Bring to mind the most compassionate version of you, or someone, real or imagined, who is wise, strong, warm and on your side. Picture how they would look at you and speak to you. For some people, being kind to themselves brings up sadness or resistance at first. That is common and not a sign you are doing it wrong. Go slowly.
A kinder response
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When to use ‘Working with your inner critic’
‘Working with your inner critic’ is an interactive cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) worksheet, most often used in CBT for low self-esteem.
It is designed to be used within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it, works through it collaboratively, and helps make sense of what it surfaces. You can preview the full worksheet above, then assign it digitally for clients to complete between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 20 minutes. It moves through six short steps:
- Your inner critic: Based on Gilbert (2009, 2010): compassion focused therapy. Many of us carry a harsh inner voice. It often feels true, but it is not the…
- Step back from it: It can help to see the critic as a separate voice, a habit your mind has learned, rather than the truth about you.
- What is it trying to do? Self-criticism is often a clumsy attempt to protect us or push us to do well. It has just gone about it harshly and stopped helping.
- Soothing rhythm breathing: Before you answer the critic, settle your body. Breathe a touch more slowly and deeply than usual, with a gentle, even rhythm, and let your…
- Your compassionate self: Bring to mind the most compassionate version of you, or someone, real or imagined, who is wise, strong, warm and on your side. Picture how…
- A kinder response
Completed on the Formulate platform, your client's answers are saved automatically and shared straight back to you, so you can review them before the next session rather than waiting for a paper copy to come back.
The CBT approach behind it
In common with other CBT methods, ‘Working with your inner critic’ works by building a kinder, more balanced relationship with oneself (compassion-focused work). The aim is not positive thinking but a clearer, shared understanding of what keeps a difficulty going and practical, testable ways to change it.
Because it is a CBT tool it stays focused on the here-and-now links between thoughts, feelings, the body and behaviour, and it works best as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis.
Evidence & sources
This worksheet is grounded in established cognitive behavioural therapy theory and practice. Key sources include:
- Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind. London: Constable.
- Gilbert, P. (2010). Compassion Focused Therapy: Distinctive Features. London: Routledge. doi:10.4324/9780203851197
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
- Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day
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