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Trying a different response to an old pattern

Plan and rehearse one manageable change to a familiar response, then review what happened and adjust the next attempt.

Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed

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Agree a small step with your therapist before trying it. Keep essential care and safe boundaries in place. Do not give up a way of coping that keeps you safe until you and your therapist have agreed a workable alternative. If a way of coping could harm you, such as hurting yourself or drinking heavily, tell your therapist so you can plan for safety together. You do not cause another person's abuse. Do not confront someone unsafe. If safety changes, pause the plan and seek support. Childhood memories may be named briefly or left out. If you feel overwhelmed or unreal, pause, look around and name where you are. Contact your therapist through the agreed route. For urgent help when they are unavailable, use your agreed urgent-care contact. If someone in your life frightens, threatens or controls you, don't practise with them. Talk to your therapist first. If you are in danger, call 999. Free domestic abuse helplines, open day and night: in England, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge) on 0808 2000 247; in Scotland, Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline on 0800 027 1234; in Wales, Live Fear Free on 0808 80 10 800; in Northern Ireland, the Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline on 0808 802 1414. This worksheet is for feelings you can manage. If you have urges to hurt yourself, or you feel unsafe, use your safety plan if you have one and tell your therapist. If you might act on the urges, call 999 or go to A&E. To talk to someone now, call Samaritans free on 116 123.

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One change to try

Use everyday rehearsal, such as practising a sentence aloud. Imagery and chair work are therapist-led only.

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When to use ‘Trying a different response to an old pattern’

‘Trying a different response to an old pattern’ is an interactive schema therapy worksheet. Consider this resource when exploring long-standing patterns in relationships, emotions or coping, and how unmet needs and earlier experiences may connect with a client’s current difficulties.

It is designed to be used within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it, works through it collaboratively, and helps make sense of what it surfaces. You can preview the full worksheet above, then assign it digitally for clients to complete between sessions on any device or download it as a print-ready PDF.

How it works

Most people work through it in around 10 minutes. It centres on one focused exercise:

  1. One change to try: Use everyday rehearsal, such as practising a sentence aloud. Imagery and chair work are therapist-led only.

Completed on the Formulate platform, your client's answers are saved automatically and shared straight back to you, so you can review them before the next session rather than waiting for a paper copy to come back.

The schema therapy approach behind it

‘Trying a different response to an old pattern’ draws on schema therapy. Schema therapy explores long-standing patterns linked to unmet emotional needs. Schemas describe broad patterns of meaning; modes describe emotional states and coping responses that become active in particular situations. Coping styles include surrendering to a pattern, avoiding it or trying to counter it. The therapist and client can explore these responses alongside the needs they may reflect.

It is intended as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis. The therapist can help decide how it fits the work and discuss what emerges.

Evidence & sources

This worksheet draws on schema therapy. Key sources include:

  • Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema Therapy: A Practitioner's Guide. Guilford Press.
  • Arntz, A., & Jacob, G. (2013). Schema Therapy in Practice: An Introductory Guide to the Schema Mode Approach. Wiley-Blackwell.

For use alongside professional support

Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.

If you need urgent help now:

  • Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
  • NHS 111 (NHS 24 in Scotland): 111 — choose the mental health option for urgent help, in England, Scotland and Wales (in Wales, press 2)
  • Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 — for urgent help in Northern Ireland, free, day or night
  • Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
  • Shout: 85258 — text SHOUT, free, day or night
  • SANEline: 0300 304 7000 — 4pm–10pm, every day

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