Compassionate Letter to Self
Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a compassionate, wise observer — addressing your struggles with understanding rather than criticism.
Written by Tarun Vermani, Trainee Clinical Psychologist Last reviewed
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Compassionate Letter to Self
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What Are You Struggling With?
Compassionate Letter
Reflection
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When to use ‘Compassionate Letter to Self’
‘Compassionate Letter to Self’ is an interactive cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) worksheet, most often used in CBT for depression and low mood.
It is designed to be used within therapy rather than as a standalone self-help tool: a therapist introduces it, works through it collaboratively, and helps make sense of what it surfaces. You can preview the full worksheet above, then assign it digitally for clients to complete between sessions on any device — or download it as a print-ready PDF.
How it works
Most people work through it in around 20 minutes. It moves through three short steps:
- What Are You Struggling With?
- Compassionate Letter
- Reflection
Completed on the Formulate platform, your client's answers are saved automatically and shared straight back to you, so you can review them before the next session rather than waiting for a paper copy to come back.
The CBT approach behind it
In common with other CBT methods, ‘Compassionate Letter to Self’ works by building a kinder, more balanced relationship with oneself (compassion-focused work). The aim is not positive thinking but a clearer, shared understanding of what keeps a difficulty going — and practical, testable ways to change it.
Because it is a CBT tool it stays focused on the here-and-now links between thoughts, feelings, the body and behaviour, and it works best as one part of a wider course of therapy rather than as advice or a diagnosis.
Evidence & sources
This worksheet is grounded in established cognitive behavioural therapy theory and practice. Key sources include:
- Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind. London: Constable.
- Fennell, M.J.V. (2006). Overcoming Low Self-Esteem. London: Robinson.
For use alongside professional support
Formulate provides educational CBT resources for use with a qualified therapist. They are not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or crisis care.
If you need urgent help now:
- Emergency services: 999 — if you or someone else is in immediate danger
- Samaritans: 116 123 — free, day or night, 365 days a year
- SANEline: 0800 689 5555 — 4:30pm–10:30pm, every day
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